- getting an 80% on a test in 8th grade: (loud wailing that lasts at least an hour followed by a sinking feeling of despair and uselessness)
- getting an 80% on a test now: (power slides down the hall while singing the national anthem)
On June 9, 1973, a bright chestnut colt named Secretariat ran the 1 1/2 miles of the Belmont Stakes in a blistering time of 2:24, averaging a running speed of 37.5 miles per hour, winning the race by 31 lengths and securing the Triple Crown for the first time in 25 years. The time has never been bested since Big Red set it nearly three decades ago.
However, none of this would’ve taken place had a mare named Somethingroyal not given birth at exactly this time (12:10am) 33 years ago to a gangly redhead who grew up to be a tremendous machine. Here’s to the athlete some thought “too good-looking” to ever amount to anything as a racehorse.
Happy birthday, Secretariat.
Count Olaf’s theater troupe
“Orihara Izaya is kind of like a flea. He’ll get close to you before you know it, and he’ll have sucked your blood when you realize that he’s here.
He’s just a noxious insect like that, so make sure to never ever let him get close to you.”
